Angel's Reality

Left Club Coleman about twenty minutes ago. I'm truly exhausted but instead of going to bed, I'm writing [I'm such a smart girl] I spent my night at Club Coleman studying for the Economics test that I have tomorrow. I feel like I'm prepared so the only things left to do are get a good night's sleep and look through the pages one last time tomorrow.

Classes were like classes every other Tuesday. Modern Philosophy had its entertaining moments, American Foreign Policy was painfully unentertaining [yes, I know, I shouldn't be looking for entertainment, I should be looking for an education. But its hard!!]  and American National Government was fun. All in all, it was Tuesday.

Off to bed I go...wish me good luck on that test!

It is official...Alex Rodriguez isn't worth all that money he was being paid!

Big surprise? Heck NO! I love the Yankees, pinstripes are great but I never supported his oversized paycheck and I'm happy to hear that the rest of the world now knows that he isn't worth it. A-Rod, or A-Hole as the New York Post is calling him, admitted to using Performing Enhancing Drugs [steroids] from 2001 to 2003 while he was playing for Texas. His admission comes on the heels of Sports Illustrated reporting that the three time MVP's name appeared on a list of 104 MLB players that tested positive for a test taken in 2003. And this is why I Love SI.

The overpriced third baseman made his admission about three hours ago to ESPN, check it out.

I Love Music. It's common knowledge. That said, I feel the need to make everyone aware of some really good cd's.

1. Adele - 19
2. Duffy - Rockferry
3. The Fray - The Fray [creative, I know]
4. Joe- Joe Thomas, New Man
5. John Legend - Evolver [not that new, but still really good]

All of the above cd's are just amazing! Especially Duffy. Her song Mercy had me dancing in the hallways [literally] I got a few looks questioning my sanity, but what's new. Mercy is also the theme song of one of my new favorite shows, Leverage. It's not all that new, it came around late last year. It's really cool, comes on on TNT Tuesday evenings. Oh speaking of good visual entertainment, there's this little mini series called My Alibi. It's online and regular people get to write the scripts for each episode. Check it out at Take180.

So I'm sitting in my Constitutional Law class and the conversation is about how black people are struggling and getting very little attention from the government.

Constitutional Law sounded like a really interesting class and I was looking forward to it, it doesn't require much work which is a plus but now I'm starting to strongly dislike it. The conversation always seems to revert to the struggle of African Americans. Maybe because I'm not African American I don't like these conversations. Perhaps I'm idealistic in my thinking but color doesn't matter to me! I hate to swear when I write but I feel an explicit on the rise. Every time I sit in a class where the topic of conversation heads in this direction I feel like leaving the room, sometimes it gets so bad that I question my decision to attend FAMU. I love my school, I really do. I'm extremely proud to say that I go to the best Historically Black University in the country but I don't think I'd feel this uncomfortable at Dartmouth or NYU.

I've never felt like the color of my skin has opened or closed any doors for me. I don't feel like I was accepted into every university that I applied to because of the color of my skin. Heck, a lot of times I don't check the "ethnicity box". I'm well aware of the fact that there is a government imposed minority quota but I don't feel like people let me walk through the doors because I'm black. What I do believe is that I've worked hard to become the person that I am mentally, academically and emotionally.  I also believe that the people I've come into contact with like to approve of the person that I am. Call me naive but I think that people treat each other based on how much respect they think the other person deserves. If I meet someone who doesn't carry themselves in a respectful manner I probably wouldn't treat them with the utmost respect.

Lesson the day: Present yourself to the world the right way because people will respect you if they think you respect yourself.

It's Sunday!

So I had an Economics test two weeks ago, we got the grade back on Wednesday. Out of approximately 100 people, only six people got a C or higher. I was one of those six people. Thank goodness! When I'd heard about how badly it went I was sooo freaked out. Last thing I need is to fail Economics. Anyhoo..since the general population didn't do so well, Dr. Daniels [my professor] is letting us take another test to replace that one. I've been studying my behind off and I hope it pays off because I really want an A in this class, a B will suffice if I have no choice though.

Speaking of Dr. Daniels, I really like the guy. He's amazingly intelligent, accomplished and extremely honest.

I just took a quiz in my American National Government class and got 100%! Yay me! I really like my Political Science classes...I'm hoping this semester goes well.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend who was facing a problem. Simply put, this friend felt like she was losing a friend. At first I replied "I can understand where you're coming from," then I realized that I fully understood.

It's been about a month since I last had a full conversation with Cruxx, and even then it wasn't what I'd been waiting for. In the last six months I've barely spoken to one of the most important people in my life. I've been trying to keep it all in for a long time but I guess I finally hit my breaking point. I never thought it would bother me this much to lose someone I care about so much. The saddest part is that we both go to the same University but never manage to speak to each other.

Last summer he told me that he'd begun seriously dating someone. At first I was jealous; I thought whoever she was was taking something vital away from me. But as he told me about how much he cared about her, I realized that I was being both selfish and paranoid; I should've been happy for him without reservations and I shouldn't have been worried about losing our friendship. So I wished him the best and I backed away.

I started this like two weeks ago but I cried so I had to pause. So here goes the continuation.

Since he started dating this girl we've spoken a lot less than we used to. Instead of almost everyday, its never. The last time we really spoke was probably Christmas break and the conversation was about him and her. In the past six months the few conversations we've had have been about him and her. I can't remember I had one of those conversations that I only had with him. Every time I think about it, I feel like crap. I've been going over it in my head and I keep looking for someone to blame or someone to hold responsible. I want to blame her but I know it isn't her fault.

I know that nothing last forever but I really thought this would. I feel as a part of me is gone.

I can't write anymore. So I'm done.

I haven't written in like a week, mainly because I had a horrible cold. I mean, straight up horrible. My body was sore, I had a nasty cough and a very runny nose. I think it all came on because I haven't been sleeping much and I spent the week in Club Coleman until 2 am every morning studying for a Microeconomics test. I had the test on Friday, it didn't go as well as I wanted it to go but I just have to wait until I get that grade back. I also had a Modern Philosophy test last Tuesday. I got the grade back on Thursday, I passed but it wasn't what I wanted it to be.

At the end of that very difficult week, I went to Chubby's. Chubby's is a club and according to most people, its the spot on Friday nights here in Tally. I wouldn't call it my favorite place to have a good time but it was okay. There were a few really mood moments but for the most part it was just chill.

I'm having serious trouble writing this, my mind is all over the place.

I have a paper to write for that Modern Philosophy class. Its about Renee Descartes and his first three meditations. It's not going very well for multiple reasons.
1. I don't like this class.
2. I hate old English
3. I really just don't want to do this paper.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning to call my dad so I could be one of the first people to wish him Happy Birthday. I thought that he'd be happy to hear my voice so early in the morning but he didn't seem very happy at all. After I'd said Happy Birthday he paused and said, "We have some bad new down here." As soon as he said those words, I knew something was seriously wrong....I was right.

Last night someone I've known all my life passed away. My neighbor Mark was in an accident and died. My parents explained what happened but I still don't quite understand it. I remember having these loud conversations from our walls because we were both too lazy to move. Or how he'd purposely rev his engine in front of my house. It's going to be weird when I go home for vacation. He won't be there.

Rest in Peace Mark Anthony Thompson.

Hi there!

Since my last entry, I saw Notorious [the movie about B.I.G.] If you haven't heard of it you probably live under a rock. Anyhoo, the movie was great! It's definitely rated R, without a doubt. First off, who ever did the casting for this movie did a great job, the persons picked to play the characters in the movie, looked a lot like the real people. I was a little skeptical about the gut they used to play Puffy [he was a lil too cute] but after he did Puffy's lil two step shimmy I was sold!
4.5 out of 5 Stars

That same day, I did something that I've wanted to do for a while. I ran the stairs of the stadium. Yes ladies and gents, I ran up and down the stairs of my school's football stadium. Did it in the morning and all. I'd always seen people do it on tv so I figured why not. Sooo me and my trusty roommates pulled some sweats on and ran up and down those stairs. I felt great after so I'm thinking that I want to fit it into my daily schedule. You people can't call me lazy anymore!

Ummm...I don't think I mentioned this person before so it's time to give someone a name. After much deliberation and help from outside sources, it has been decided that this person will be called Wellington. Wellington and I met when I first last year when I first moved to Tally. At first he didn't seem like the guy I'd go out with but I tried to give it a chance...I should have stuck with my first instinct. Let's just sum it up as "He was an idiot" please keep in mind that the word I usually use to describe him has seven letters and it starts with an 'A'.

Recently, Wellington has been asking me to spend time with him, I've been really adamant about not spending time with him but he's being really persistent and he's been trying really hard to prove to me that he's changed. Call me a cynic but people rarely change. I even called him that seven letter word via text message. The roommies said that I was harsh...so I apologized [see I do have a conscience] I'm wondering if I'll give it a chance...I dunno. Maybe I'll cave.

Oh...Classmate read my blog [which featured him] I don't know how I feel about that, but I knew it would happen eventually.

Yes Ladies and Gents, I need help [rarely do I actually ask for it, but here goes]

Humility: the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.

Humbleness: a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride

I'm going through a bit of a crisis right now [maybe crisis is too strong a word, but I am trying to figure out something very important]. I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday which was great, we went back and forth verbally sparring all in good fun. Near the end of the conversation, the concept of being humble came up. So from that moment on, I've been trying to figure out if I'm humble.

I think I understand the concept of being humble, but now I'm wondering if I actually put it into play. In regular conversation, people use humble in the context of not being boastful or being modest. Would people call me modest or boastful? I spent most of last night pondering the question and even asking my roommates if I'm humble or not...unfortunately, I have yet to get a definite yes or no.

That said: I need more help!!

Am I humble? Please feel free to be blatantly honest...this is really important to me and I really need to know. If I'm not humble, I'd like to know so that I can put humility into my daily life.